Personalization

Elements of a Healing Funeral

a close up of a sheet of music with a flower in the foreground

Music

Music sets the tone and brings emotions to the forefront. In many ways, music says what words cannot. We often shy away from expressing emotions, but don’t be afraid to invite people to express their grief. Consider using music as an avenue to bring out what people are thinking and feeling.

Readings

Readings also invite mourners to express their emotions while also honoring the unique spirit of the one who has died. Has a poem, lyrics, or movie quote just spoken to you? These words can easily be used as a reading and can add a deeper dimension to the service. 

a book with pink flowers on top of it
a woman in a yellow coat is walking with a man in a suit

Visitation/Reception

The visitation or reception is a time for everyone to gather and express support and sympathy. If you choose, the body may be present, allowing mourners to physically say goodbye one final time. This element also offers a special time for personalization - where you can tell the story of a loved one’s lifetime. 

Eulogy/Remembrance

In many ways, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a service. After all, it is a special set-aside time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of the life lived. The eulogy can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people to create a meaningful moment. 

a park bench sits on a grassy hill under a tree
a close up of a sheet of music with a flower in the foreground

Symbols

Symbols are an important aspect of a service because they convey love and comfort, facilitate expression, and offer a focus point for the bereaved. For example, for an artist, you might display examples of their work; for a reader, you might include favorite books. Common symbols are an appropriate religious symbol, flowers, dark clothing, and candles, but you can use whatever feels best to honor your loved one. 

Gathering

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the service to share stories and to support each other. This event may occur at the funeral home, an event center, someone’s home, or even a local restaurant. The point of a gathering is to bring people together to share stories, remember a loved one, and connect (or reconnect) with people.

a man in a suit and a woman in a jacket hugging each other
a person is holding a lit candle in their hands

Actions

Finally, by inviting others into action at the service, you engage mourners and invite them to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief. To move others toward healing, it is important to invite them to act. You could light candles of remembrance, ask mourners to wear a certain color, or invite friends and family to share a special memory.

The more elements you can incorporate into a funeral, the more meaningful and healing it will be. When people and ceremony come together, meaning emerges and healing begins to unfold. Now, you have all the tools you need to plan an element-rich funeral!

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