Losing a loved one is the most common cause of grief, and learning how to cope with this loss can be incredibly difficult. No matter what others might say, there is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a loved one.
If you’ve heard one or more of the following myths, do not let them affect your grieving process.
Myth #1: Grief Happens in Stages
You’ve probably heard of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When coping with a loss, many people tend to compare their grief and how they’re feeling to these stages.
However, this can cause negative feelings, such as stress or regret, if the individual finds themselves experiencing these stages in a different order or repeating a stage after progressing to the next one.
What’s important to remember is that grief does not follow a particular order. Everyone feels their grief in different ways, so there is no right or wrong way to process your grief. There are no rules to follow, and most of the time, the grieving process will feel like it is out of your control.
Myth #2: Grief and Mourning Are the Same Thing
Many believe that mourning and grief are interchangeable; however, mourning is just one part of grief overall.
Grief consists of the emotional state you experience after loss, meaning it includes your internal thoughts and feelings regarding the situation. Mourning is your actions and how you outwardly express these feelings of grief. Common examples of mourning include dressing in all black, journaling, fasting, and other actions that indicate feelings of sadness.
Myth #3: Grief Heals Within a Year
There is no official timeline for dealing with grief, and it does not simply go away.
After losing a loved one, you will most likely always experience grief, but the severity of it will become more and more manageable as time goes on. You’ll likely find that your feelings are no longer as intense or frequent, but certain memories, anniversaries, times of the year, or even little reminders of your loved one can reopen the emotional wounds you’ve felt.
It’s important to refrain from thinking that grief has an endpoint and you’re just working toward the finish line. Grief is ever-changing and will come and go in waves throughout your lifetime.
Myth #4: Grief Is the Same for Everyone
No matter the situation, everyone grieves in their own way. Different cultures even have different traditions when it comes to grief, which might greatly affect someone’s grieving process and how long or intensely they mourn the loss of their loved one.
Grief is not one size fits all. Some people you know might be able to work through it easily, while it is unbearable for others. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and how they cope with them. Grief is unique to each individual, and what’s important is focusing on your own feelings and needs throughout the grieving process.
Myth #5: Grief Goes Away if you Ignore It
If you broke a bone, you would not assume it would get better over time without getting treated, right? Emotional pain is extremely similar to physical pain — it won’t magically go away if you ignore it.
After losing a loved one, you need to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions you’re experiencing rather than bottling them up. If you suppress those feelings, they will eventually become too much to handle and cause you to “burst.”
Think of it as a burst appendix. If you ignore the pain, it will eventually lead to making the situation even worse. Whether you’re feeling sad, angry, guilty, or something else, allow yourself to address these feelings head-on rather than pushing them to the side.
Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, and it’s important to remember you do not have to go through it alone. Many local hospices can be an excellent resource for grief as they offer grief support groups to the public, even if you did not use their hospice services.
We understand how hard it is to lose a loved one, and these resources might help ease some of the pain you’re experiencing. With locations in Owings, MD and Clinton, MD, Lee Funeral Homes has a wide range of resources to support you not only today, but in the weeks and months to come. We offer affordable funeral options to ensure families throughout the Calvert County, and southern Prince George’s County, MD community can honor their loved one and their wishes.
If you have questions regarding the process, feel free to visit our FAQ or contact us today.
Circle of Friends+ provides you with resources on grief support and settling affairs, sent to you via text and email.